read on if you're interested in elephant penises.

Maybe my reproductive-rights-hackles are a little too easily raised these days, but when I saw a promotion for a television special on the National Geographic Channel about animals in the womb, I muttered something about thinly-veiled pro-life rhetoric. But not being one to discount things out of hand, I tuned in (read: someone tivo'd it, or as we like to say in my house, 'badooped it'). Granted, I only watched the beginning of it so far, but the prognosis is good! They talk about blobs of cells as just that, I don't think I ever heard anything about a "miracle." Not to mention they make animal sex acts look exactly as horrifying as they truly must be.

Case in point number one: Elephant penises are terrifyingly gargantuan and don't even enter the female elephants' va-jay-jays. They just spray their 1/2 pint of semen (school lunch-size milk carton? anyone?) on her backside and hope the little buggers can make it the 6.5 feet to meet the egg.

Case in point number two: I'm sure we've all witnessed a little dog humping now and then. What I honestly did not know is that in a successful attempt, the male dog's penis stays inserted for several minutes and as long as an hour. The two dogs just stand there in a "tie," not mounted, but just standing there butt to butt, looking dumb as dogs usually do. Oddly hilarious. And people think we humans can be impersonal about sex.

If I watch the rest of it and find that my original assumption was right, perhaps there will be an update. I still have to learn about dolphin babies.